A few months ago, Bas gave me a call.
He sounded tense — maybe even a little ashamed.
“I’ve got things sorted financially. But inside, I feel anything but calm.”
He told me about the mismatch between how things looked on the outside and how they felt on the inside.
Because on paper, everything looked great:
✔️ A solid job
✔️ Sound investments
✔️ A healthy savings buffer
And yet, every time he wanted to spend money on himself — a holiday, a course, even something as simple as a new coat — that same nagging feeling came back:
“It’s like I need to justify it. Like I’m doing something wrong by enjoying my money.”
And then he asked the question I hear so often — though it’s rarely said out loud:
🧠 “What’s wrong with me that I make such a fuss about money, even though I actually have it?”
My answer was simple:
There’s nothing wrong with you.
Your behaviour around money isn’t weird.
👉 It’s just old.
💭 What you do with money now is old behaviour
Maybe this sounds familiar.
You have enough. You know what you should do.
And still… you freeze. You delay. You panic.
Or quietly wonder: What is it with me and money?
Maybe you’ve asked yourself:
- Why is it so hard to allow myself something nice?
- Why do I keep putting off important financial decisions?
- Why do I feel awkward stating my rates?
The truth?
It’s not because you’re “bad with money.”
And it’s certainly not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s because your behaviour is old.
Patterns formed long ago — in childhood, in your family, in your environment.
Even if money was never openly discussed, you picked things up.
At some point, your brain decided:
💭 This is how to stay safe.
And so now, as an adult, you may act in ways that no longer suit you — but still show up whenever money is involved.
You’re not broken. You’re conditioned.
What you do today often says more about your past than your present.
And unless you explore where those patterns came from… you’ll keep repeating them.
Not because you’re weak — but because you’re human.
Just like Bas.